The NY Times has the results from a long-delayed study.
The above cartoon of mine ran in The Chronicle of Higher Education. Blowing it up, you can see that the cell is a hard-boiled egg slicer. I saw them in the grocery store one day and thought that, opened up like in the above drawing, they do look like cell phones. Making the businessmen all big, white Humpty Dumpty types cinches the gag.
The darn report says that people who use cells a lot are 40% more likely to get a type of brain tumor. But, hey, "overall there is no link between cellphone use and brain tumors." Uh ... okay then.
Time to invest in string and Dixie cups!